Proverbs 20:5 says, “The heart of a man is like deep waters, but a man of understanding draws it out”. Inside our children is a depth of wonder, vision, capabilities, love, and gifting that is utterly amazing. The question is, how do help draw this to the surface?
Personal Coaching (to be distinguished from athletic coaching) is a skill that allows us to partner with our children in a thought provoking dialogue to help them discover their dreams and help them get where they want to go.
As a parent, coaching is not about you, it is about your kids and their dreams and believing that they have the answers inside of them given by God and your job is to help draw this out.
Here are some coaching tips…
- Listen up: Your children are speaking volumes with their lives and likes and dislikes. Just observing will give you wonderful information for getting started.
- Don’t Tell, Ask: This is not about telling but asking. Ask your kids what they want to talk about. Let them guide the discussion. Stay away from why questions, stick with who, what and how questions. Your goal as a coach is to be a vehicle to get them from where they are now to where they want to go.
- Stay short term: Depending on your kid’s age, they will be thinking in terms of issues that face them in the next few minutes, hours, days or months. Encourage them with questions to share what they are struggling with now.
- Be Affirming: No matter what, we need to show our kids that we believe they can succeed. They will pick up on our level of faith in them.
Well there you have it. A few musings on Coaching our Kids. As a Professional Coach, I will be writing more about this in the future.
If you like what you read, check out our children’s book, Hooked on the Book, on this website. It is great for parents and kids because it provides the Big Story of God’s miraculous plan for His children in all 66 books in the Bible including colorful illustrations, rhymes and a surprise on every page.